I’ve been meaning to write this for weeks, but I never built up the courage to express what I’m feeling, at times I’m not even sure.
A month has passed since you left me. Ever since we’ve been apart my heart has not stopped wondering about our good days, all I could think of was how I was so blind to not see it coming, I might have taken your love for granted, I never imagined losing the most important person in my life. I think the hardest thing I had to go through was accepting that it’s all gone, I still can’t believe it sometimes.
I put everything that reminded me of us in a wooden box, I still go through the things everyday in hopes that it will glue my heart back in place, I know it sound stupid but our pictures still make me smile, we were so in love it’s the best I’ve ever felt.
I blame myself for all this, I mean I’m not the kind of girl you would fall in love with, I always wish I was. I wish I was covered in tattos with a nice body and a pretty smile, I really wish I was older too I know thats something that always bothered you. I get all that, I dont even know why you even wanted me in the first place.
I was obsessive, blieve it or not its because i always was sacred of losing you, look where we are now because of my fucking obsessiveness. I pushed it too far and I’m sorry if that ever hurt you. It kills me to realize how stupid I was.
I still think you gave up too early on us, we’ve been through so much I know we would have gotten through this, you and I made a pretty strong team. You held me up when I was done and I did the same.
I knew losing you was going to be though but I never imagined it to be so painful, all the things I miss sting my heart. You still show up in my dreams with that fucking smile and your hand holding mine. It’s amazing how much I miss you holding my hand.
People tell me its harder to hold on rather then just letting go. I guess they have a point, you’ve gone your way and I’m still here hoping one day everything falls into place, maybe you’ll find your way back to us, we can be happy again. I can wait forever.
You hurt me, you broke my heart into pieces, you played with my feelings and you fucked me up. I lost the person I loved the most.
But I still love you,
I miss you baby and I really want to go home now.
Your arms wrapped around me is the only thing that can mend my broken soul.
Love always and forever,